The Old Man and the Secret
I originally published this in 2003 with regard to a starting to age Sammy Sosa (though nowadays, I think it might be better suited for Julio Franco)
(insert Sammy pitch)
"How many homers will I hit this year? Depends!"
"How many games will the Cubs win? Depends!"
"What undergarment do I wear besides my BVDs and cup? That’s right … Depends!"
(end Sammy pitch)
(insert voiceover)
"That right fans, when Sammy is chasing down a line drive, or swinging for the fences, he doesn’t want to have to worry about bladder problems. So, he trusts Depends … the official incontinence undergarment of Major League Baseball"
(end voiceover)
(insert Sammy pitch)
"How will you know when I’m feeling REALLY comfortable on the field? Depends!"
(end Sammy pitch)
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