Barry Bonfire of his Vanity
"Barry Bonds soon should be toasty warm again in the San Francisco Giants’ dugout.
The Giants said Wednesday they are looking into ways to upgrade the heating system in the team’s dugout after state law mandated the club remove two kerosene heaters following the 2005 season because of health and safety concerns.
The 41-year-old Bonds, who came in to pinch hit and homered for the second straight game Wednesday, brought the issue to the attention of Giants officials earlier this season, then took his complaint public after Tuesday night’s 4-1 loss to the New York Mets."
This must mean its time for …
"The Top 10 Ways the Giants can Upgrade the Heating in their Dugout"
10. Mandatory team group hug after each half-inning.
9. Lap dances given by the 49ers cheerleaders.
8. Players should be threatened with banishment back to Candlestick Park if they don’t quit their whining.
7. Gatorade coolers now filled with cognac.
6. Solar panels built into team uniforms.
5. Rename the ballpark "H*ll".
4. Opt into a timeshare arrangement with the Diamondbacks for use of Chase Park.
3. Equipment manager applies Icy-Hot to player’s cups.
2. Move the dugout to one of the luxury suites.
and the number one way the Giants can Upgrade the Heating in their Dugout
1. Burn copies of "Game of Shadows"